Friday, January 4, 2013

Legends of the Fall

"The fantastic is in league against me"

The Lay of the Land

Some Races:


Humans wear tight jeans and look hungry. They hate their Elf overlords, but lack any kind of respectable central authority to foment and organize an effective rebellion.* Worse, some humans have eschewed squatting in the ruins or work in an Elven fashion-mine and have come to set themselves up as petite bourgeoisie in the Countryside. Or shopowners claiming ownership of scalvaged goods from the ruins, fashion-cultists burning bomber jackets in front of Elvish department stores. 

*Out in the wild, ruined hills, a man-hawk mutant has declared himself king of the humans, but is generally ignored as he is known more for dressing rebelliously than actually being rebellious - he has affected red eyelid dye and wears Elven military dress.


Elves are fallen angels They are generally indistinguishable from humans but for their insane musculature and reliably punch-me faces. They often smear their eyelids and lips in black dyes and are generally secretive, spending much of their free time formulating means to return to heaven and overthrow whatever deities live there. Elves live in the best parts of the countryside, in old department stores.


Halflings are strange looking, speak in nasal, mumbling voices and Manc accents. Are generally no shorter than a short human being. Are frequently hired for performances of the demanding, shout/moan/buzz/spit/growl songs traditional to their home in the wild, ruined hills. Those that aren't skalds, spend their time scalvaging the wild, ruined hills for weapons. Elven leadership eyes this practice with increasing anxiety. They are tireless workers, avid drinkers and abhor bullshit and tyranny.

Some Places:
The wild, ruined hills stretch for hundreds of miles in every direction and are rolling piles of tangled metal beams, tumbledown buildings, footprints of truly enormous structures long since toppled. Devils and body- modifiers haunt the ruins while most humans settle around major halfling scalvaging sites or Elven fashion mines or Elven textile mills.

The largest settlement in the hills is Lads For, a hafling town full of plotters, anarchists and angry skalds. The name purportedly is from the halfling children's rhyme, "need some horror, we're the lads fer."

Lads For is full of fighting pits, most conflicts are resolved in this manner, while the old, dank basements are hung with Elf scalps and sharp hatchets.

Occasionally there is a massive collapse as a tiny, sentient star belches out of the hills and heads for the sky, the heat searing to death everything miles away. Valkyrie stalk the hills in designer black armor, looking for more of their star-brothers to resurrect and generally acting horrifying and sharpening their teeth.

The Countryside is where most Elves and the human petite-bourgeoisie live in idyllic beauty and the cleanliness and comfort of modern living. Most elvish cities are built around department stores, which are treated as center of commerce, church and government hall.

The largest Elvish settlement is around an enormous frankenstein of cobbled-together stores called Dunismore.

The Elves are building a pantheon of consumer gods, too beautiful to behold, forever hungry for more, their god-hunger a catching disease. Once they've scalvaged enough of the star-brother's corpses, they'll be able to raise their new pantheon to powers greater than the god that first dreamed them up.

CLASSES and the Species Likely associated with them.
Fighting Man Bloke (Halfling, Human)
Cleric Hip Priest (Elf)
Magic User Gadgeteer (any species)
Rogue Skald (Halfling)
Paladin the Fashionably Cultured (Elves, Humans)

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