Slaad (D&D 5e gods)

Gods of Trickery or Knowledge
The Slaad maintain the various bureaucracies of the outer planes. They are native to the boiling plains of rot and swampy decay in Limbo and rule from throne-temples composed of whole rotting biomes and massive forest-planets, strung together by gravity and psychic architecture. They are sempiternal, near-infinite in both form and knowledge, each Slaad overseeing millions of bureaucratic functions and billions of files and functionaries. Accordingly, though their minds are vast (often forming grand psychic palace-mazes of incredible intricacy and housing knowledge-treasure of incredible wealth and power and breeding monsters of its own subconscious*), the sheer number and inter-related complexity of their tasks gives one the impression that the Slaad is judicious to the point of inaction (the Slaad is making decisions and altering realities, just not the one you care about, please hold).

Debates would be held as to whether or not the Slaad are gods of apparent chaos-but-actually-supreme-order or gods of apparent law-but-actually-the-chaos-caused-by-law-imploding, but the Slaad are generally so catastrophic, their involvement/interference so terrible that the debaters are shouted down for being huge, insensitive assholes.

Slaad, being incredibly intelligent and powerful frogs/toads are also entirely self-interested. They eye realities and artifacts and minor deities like a frog eyes a fly.

Slaad are attended by armies of ghouls, each led by a death knight devoted to chaos or law.

Infant Slaad and their colonial psychic bureaucracies, arriving through space and planes like a wet, psychic meteors are apocalyptic events.

The Slaad's psychic puissence is so great and its voice plane-spanning (its lower tones dipping low into the elemental plane of water, where that place touches the elemental plane of earth; its higher tones causing the ground of Elysium to vibrate just so from time to time), that all correspondence had from the Slaad is via its attendants, the Salamandarin (Slaad bud** off Salamandarin by the hundreds of thousands, but also bud off other Slaad, as well as ideas that are sort of like toys and sort of like machines but are often used like batteries or weapons. So that's another sort of communication, albeit an indirect and mostly incomprehensible one).

Licking a Slaad
Does a few things: 

i.  it tells you something you don't want to know, didn't ask to know (the GM will tell you a secret about another character in the campaign or something like that). this isn't like the Slaad telling you, it's just something from the psychic fug around the Slaad worming its way into you like a virus.

ii. you can make a direct inquiry into the memories of the Slaad which are vast, and functionally infinite (gods, liches and dragons keep secrets of Slaad, but pretty much no one else) via something like astral projection or death (requires a DC 20 Cha Save or suffer 100 damage (save halves)... increased DC by 5 for the obscurity of the information sought. die in this manner and rise again as a zombie-like slave to the Slaad (1 in 20 chance you're something like a Death Knight champion of the Slaad, your armor a mess of flesh and bone and black metal, otherwise, you're basically a ghoul, albeit your paralysis works psionically).

iii. lets you see the Slaad's mind palace

it costs:

1 point of constitution for the duration of the effect (which lasts until you leave the plane on which the Slaad resides)

a secret you've been trying very hard to keep (your notion of self a bit loose, the secret wriggles out)

A DC 20 Cha Save or be charmed by the Slaad for the duration

Slaad mucus is volatile but can be used as an outrageously valuable spell component (esp if you're playing DCCRPG) and can fuel psionic charged devices.

Tricking a Slaad
Slaad can make/think anything from their backs (though it will be bent to the purpose most suited the Slaad), and there are myths of trickster gods tricking a Slaad to make it weapons or armies.

*adventurers beware for the mind-palaces of the Slaad are largely indistinguishable from the Mazes of the Lady of Pain

**think Suriname Toad

attribution: Vivarium Naturae of the Naturalist's Miscellany, 1790

Bad Evangelists, a magic item, a Hex/Hex layout

There are three parts to this post as I continue to work through my hex-y 5e thing. 1 is a how I'm doing hex keying. Thoughts very much welcome. The second is an item, which is how I'm seeing a lot of smaller, random magic items work out (in my head, at this point). The last is more on the Evangelists of Torment.

A LOCATION/HEX LAYOUTS
The general format is intended to leave space on the left for notes or to refer to other locations (a la Carcosa) and the space on the left delineates when something is available. Entries in the same row, separated by a semi colon are usually something more specific or a different visual "beat" in the description. The options thus far for the conditional/right hand column are:

always   is whatever is evidently here when you're just passing through

careful   is stuff happens when the players spend time carefully poking around

time       is stuff that happens only at a certain time (first time here, night, day being the three                      I've used thus far)

DC X     being a gate behind which things are put. Rolled stat/skill is determined by context.


Here is an actual example:

005	former farm house, mostly just its stone walls and floor and rotten ceiling boards and walls; the grass thins and reaches the knees rather than shoulder in large rectangular spaces around the house	always
	child’s voice singing backwards under the flagstones	at night
	the flagstones don’t sit quite evenly (under is the dolorous poppet)	DC 15

AN ITEM
the dolorous poppet. a child’s doll stuffed with soft blond hair and little teeth. an arcane focus granting advantage 1/session on any check relating to infernals or deep places or far places.

EVANGELISTS
I posted the Evangelist of Torment 5e stat block at the bottom of this post. Something in between dragon and deity. I think I need to up their CR a bit and maybe give them a recharge power. Part of the below is for figuring out who is around when you com calling the first time and part of this is for clerics.

THE NAMES OF THE EVANGELISTS

roll d6+1 to determine the number of Evangelists

roll d10s that number of times to determine which Evangelists. Multiple rolls indicate a greater presence.

roll d6 to determine which nest is where. if there is increased presence, they are currently in residence at more than one nest/palace (roll again).

/1/	Mag
as a bird	a snub, jagged beak, slightly erratic from parasites in its inner ear that occasionally peek out and tries to tell it what to do.
as a humanoid	an old woman of crooked aspect and prodigious hair under which she hides her clawed feet. Often talks to her parasites
desires	the fingers of painters or doctors, the beak of Lugh to wear over its own
hates	Kutkh, anyone asking too many questions, anyone disturbing its near-constant naps
/2/	Indra
as a bird	its body crackles with bolts of energy, like storms beneath its feathers
as a humanoid	drunk, occasionally gripped by paralytic spasms, winged, bloody-mouthed
desires	to drink, to fight until no one sober is left living and everyone living is dying of drink
hates	Mag, Lugh, Huginn, the sun, seriousness, questions
/3/	Na’Satja
as a bird	vicious, scabby-eyed, beak split down the middle, opens as normal or along split
as a humanoid	one head bearing two faces that speak simultaneously (only one is audible at a time, the other speaks thoughts. Na’Satja has no thoughts other than when it speaks)
desires	the tongues of lawyers and bureaucrats, the brains of scientists and philosophers, the moon hiding behind our moon
hates	books, maps, paintings and other records, science, philosophy, civilization, Indra
/4/	Naunghaithya
as a bird	all 343 of its eyes have been bound or pierced or spiked with an inscribed silver pin
as a humanoid	arthritic, swollen hands and knees, blind-looking eyes (that see just fine)
desires	the wealth of kings and merchants, the simplicity of beggars
hates	everyone and thing
/5/	Verethreghana
as a bird	three-headed, razor-sharp feathers slice whatever they touch, leaving cuneiform behind
as a humanoid	monstrously proportioned sex organs, pregnant, decked in an infinity of weapons
desires	endless destruction, endless birth
hates	Lugh, celibates, opposition
/6/	Sauru
as a bird	emaciated, its claws are black, wrought iron
as a humanoid	robed in feathers growing from it, magisterial, crowned in human bone, scepter is a smooth, slim arm
desires	everything is to be taxed (breath, dreams, thoughts, battles, births, deaths, names)
hates	justice, kindness to the poor, order, safety, comfort
/7/	Huginn
as a bird	leaves ink stains where it rests, appears as one bird or several or your mother or a king
as a humanoid	wears a crimson silk blindfold, ink-stained fingers, trails catalog cards and charts, writes using a brush of eyelashes
desires	the cessation of time until it has caught up
hates	time, fiction, imagination, sleep
/8/	Lugh
as a bird	flaming with negative light, clattering with bones
as a humanoid	gigantic, wreathed in a halo of black flame, armed with a spear and a clawed right hand, wears bodies from hooks around its waist like scalps
desires	order, power, the humiliation of others, empire
hates	weakness, Sauru, opposition
/9/	Kutkh
as a bird	body laced with torcs and it’s wings tingle from chimes of bronze and steel
as a humanoid	wind-burned, rugged, moustachioed or bearded or wild-haired, always with a black horse and a white horse and sword that always drips blood, usually at the head of a multitude
desires	conquest, the spread of its seed regardless of the subjects willingness or capacity
hates	everything not of its host
/10/	It Shits In the Water
as a bird	as any other, also appears as a black monkey or grinning, pregnant dog
as a humanoid	usually a young man or woman with a bulging sack or pack, always grinning
desires	to finish telling the joke that ends the world, to make the world again
hates	serious things like anything that isn’t strictly animal, including civilization, language, and the other Evangelists

attributions: Lucas/Richard Windsor, Wilfried Satty

Knowledge and Problem Solving (Cleric/Fighter/Magic-User) Ramble

meat fighter badass solves problems by looking tough, being tough and having a badass follower that looks like a hyena

In my head there is this Platonic ideal D&D wherein players control characters and the characters all go off and explore and have adventures in strange and dangerous places. There are obstacles and players use resources (what's on the character sheet) and skill (cleverness, co-ordination, knowledge of the game, etc) to overcome the obstacles. It is fun in the way that games that are about resolving challenges and exploration are fun. 

Character knowledge is one of those fun black boxes whereby player and referee get to peel back the protective flaps covering the games auditory pits and gently whisper questions into the game or at one another and then get something weird and interesting back. This character was a mucker of Nuln before donning the wizarding tunic they now wear. What might a mucker know about a particular sort of mud? The arid plains of Nuln are known for their mushrooms and nuts, does that mean the mucker knows a bit about what's good to eat in this forest?

The OD&D classes represent radically different approaches to character knowledge and problem solving. (this post here at 9 and 30 kingdoms is related to this)

Clerics, like Fighters, solve problems in a similar sort of sphere, both types of problems being of a decidedly fleshy nature. Magic-Users can, theoretically solve any type of problem at all but they can only solve so many in "an adventure" (which I take to mean in a single session, but later D&D refines to once-a-game-day-so-long-as-you're-getting-in-a-good-rest) and they have to figure out how to solve that problem in their weird wizardy way or they have to steal that knowledge from someone else.

Fighters exist as meat. Their plans are meaty, their actions take place in the usual meat space. They get ignored a lot when people talk about classes and games because they are generally so unproblematic/understandable. "Can my Fighter do this?" can nearly always be resolved with, "if you had the stats your Fighter has, do you think you could do it?"

Clerics are hopeful meat. They hope their god(s) pay attention and help out. It is generally a fun rule to treat the Cleric's spell list as mostly a description of the outer boundaries of what the god(s) are interested in doing for the Cleric this session. The Cleric prays over some of the Fighter's mangled meat body and hopes that things turn out well. Maybe the god is a Troll and the ruined limb heals itself over the next few minutes; maybe the god is an Ent and the replacement parts are some kind of muscle-wood hybrid because Ents don't totally "get" human parts; maybe the Cleric spent last night getting drunk (you know, carousing tables) and the Cleric's judgey white male god decides that while the Fighter is healed, the Fighter's wound is passive-aggressively transposed to the Cleric.

A Cleric doesn't necessarily know anything new or special about the game world unless it's revealed to them. It's like they have these giant monsters riding on their backs. The monsters help them sometimes and sometimes they don't and they impose rules on when they help and the general idea is that really, the real stuff is going on at monster-view level and the monsters are calling the shots and you're just a really advanced horse. 

The life of a Cleric is someone's nightmare about religion.

Magic-Users, on the other hand, know special stuff. Maybe what they know is monster-view stuff which is why it's always so non-linear and knowing it is a vertiginous experience and why Clerics and Magic-Users aren't supposed to get along. Rote Vance (and pretty much rote D&D) is super boring here in practice, but the fundamental theory is interesting. Magic-Users traditionally get their magic by (a) being a little magical themselves and (b) cramming magical, weird, non-linear magic (which might be a monster or something like an invisible monster, maybe made out of dark matter, maybe an angel or aether a la John Dee) into what is probably some special lobe of the brain. (b) nearly always involves reading and being able to cast a spell is usually stated as knowing the spell (and/or having it memorized with the distinction being: can you cast this spell at all [know]? versus can you cast this spell now? [memorized]) and, since the start of the hobby, Intelligence is the core stat for the Magic-User (in OD&D INT also influences how many languages a character may know and in Greyhawk, even the number of spells they may know). All of which is to say that Magic-Users are and always have been about having that certain special information that turns what was an obstacle into an obstacle no longer. (Note also that Clerics in Greyhawk don't get extra spells for high INT as, Gygax notes, clerical magic is "given).

The whole spell-hunt meta game for Magic-Users is similarly about seeking out the knowledge you might want in the future to solve some other kind of problem.

This is kind of related to other posts (esp stuff on Magic-Users and Clerics and Deities) but mostly to stuff I'm working on.

attribution: Pieter Hugo

Dark Souls D&D Guide (part 2? version 2?)

two former heroes of the continent who may train the party 

For Dark Souls D&D, as linked here. This goes into greater detail than the original post. Everything in the loot section subject to change.

CLASSES

Are Fighter, Cleric and Magic-User to start. You unlock your Class by finding, picking up and equipping an item imbued with the spirit and memories of a (fallen?) person of that Class (or are they your own memories?). Sample list of Class items here for the curious. In play, the list will be different.

Other Classes (see below list) may be taught by a hero still living somewhere on the lost continent. With the exception of Thieves, you'll need to both ask around and also seek out a rare and powerful class item once belonging to the hero-trainer. These rare items are likely locked away in deep and terrible places and/or wielded by the twisted former disciples of the trainer. Heroes are usually elves and their items usually of elvish masterwork.

The one exception to the above are Thieves. "Heroic" thieves are more plentiful than most of the other trainers and determination and inquisitiveness are likely enough to discover their location (no rare item necessary!). They will, however, want some kind of remuneration for their services.

Classes and Subclasses:

Thief (trained by _____________ or _______________ or ______________ or ______________) (locked)

Paladin (trained by _________ or _____________) (locked)

Assassin (trained by ______________) (locked)

Archer (trained by _________) (locked)

Witch (trained by _________ and _____________ or ____________ or _____________) (locked)

Journeymen-Exorcist (trained by ________________) (locked)

Necromancer (trained by ________________) (locked)

Some classes or trainers are likely mutually exclusive. If you choose to learn from one you'll likely make an enemy of the other (they may even treat you as "kill on sight").

"RACES" & HUMANITY

Are Human, Elf or "Halfling" to start. Elves are slimmer and shorter than humans with a slight point to the ear, and almond-shaped eyes. They are natives to the continent. "Halflings" are the poorest and least cared for humans among human society, treated as a caste apart, and many find their way to the lost continent. They show minor signs of in-breeding and major signs of early childhood malnutrition and a rough life. Most have few teeth.

As described earlier, CON is replaced by HUMANITY.

If, at any time, you have 13+ HUM, you may take a single racial ability from your race (roll to determine which). The ability is usable 1/session, until you've less than 13 HUM. If you've less than 13 HUM, the curse overwhelms your intrinsic nature and you've the Hollow Racial Ability.

Elves (d10) 1-3: Can read all alignment languages, 4-6: Split-move on foot, 7-8: Move Silently in Forests and Meadows (on a 14+), 9-10: Ignore the effects of a charm

Halflings (d10) 1-4: Hide in Shadows (a 14+), 5-6: +1 to a Surprise roll, 7-8: +1 to Attacks and Damage with ranged weapons, 9-10: Backstab from hiding (+2 attacks, Large Damage)

Hollow You need not food, drink or sleep.

Human (d10) 1-4: Re-roll a failed Save that would result in a loss of HUM (a successful Save affects only the loss of HUM, not other outcomes), 5-6: Roll for treasure as if one level higher, 7-8: May have +1 Henchmen, 9-10: Re-roll a failed Save v Death or Poison that would have killed you

There are three races of legend living out the remaining years of their now-cursed existence somewhere on the continent. Find, aid and thereby befriend them in order to play characters or recruit henchmen from their people. As with Class Trainers, befriending Children of one God will likely alienate you from others.

Child of Othin (Lightning Genasi?) abilities to be discovered (locked)

Child of the Coven (Chaos-Warped) abilities to be discovered (locked)

Child of the Abyss (Tiefling and/or Revenant) abilities to be discovered (locked)

There are at two other peoples living in secret of which you know nothing.

HENCHMEN

May be hired at level 2 should you be able to find one resting near a campfire and convince them to journey with you. They need not be paid, and take and earn half the XP the "controlling" character earns. Unless otherwise modified by the rules, no character may have more than one Henchmen. Beware too of the Henchmen who grows despondent, their face sallow and sagging, their eyes mistrustful, for Henchmen too may turn fully Hollow (you'll not know their starting or current HUM) and attack the group.

CAMPFIRES

are kindled by one of the Ash Maidens, tongueless priestess to an unknown deity, associated with the Sun (but not the missing Sun God Apollo). Resting by these fires heals as a full rest (re-roll HP using current HD and keep the larger number). By praying in front of the bonfire until you sleep you may wake up the next day at a different bonfire kindled by the same Ash Maiden so long as you've been there before. 

Incidentally, Flailsnails groups will likely start at whichever bonfire they have unlocked and then choosen at the start of a session..

praise be her name, Ixiander the New Dragon, First Witch

OTHER RESOURCES FOR PLAY

Flailsnails

At this point, I'd like people to start at 0-levels. Once more content is unlocked, higher-level characters will be welcome. I don't think this setting works if you introduce high levels for an early smash 'n grab (plus, I frankly feel myself a little underqualified to start running this at higher levels).

Monster stat blocks

You've no reason to want or need this know if you're interested in playing, but this is how I've been writing stat blocks and plan on running things. This is what that OD&D spreadsheet turns into after I adapt stuff for a setting/game. That said, this block gets referenced a few times below.

Hollow

(Guarding, Armed) or (Crazed) or (Non-Aggressive) Less Intelligent Humanoid

AC 9, 1-6 HP, Saves 17, Slowest, always attacks last; Guarding Hollow: hatchets, every 3^rd has a short sword or shield and every forth a bow with d4 arrows (every twelfth has a sword and bow, no shield); Loot 2, (Crazed 3, Guarding 4); unlike other monsters Hollow do not normally see in the dark

(Guarding) enemies patrol an area or stand watch, look for enemies, will chase and try to find fleeing opponents and usually get a bonus to Morale and are more likely to be aggressive after a reaction roll

(Crazed) enemies do not flee or break and may be very aggressive, not discriminating between friend and foe, similar to Berserkers (unless you get a friendly on the reaction roll, treat as aggressive)

(Non-Aggressive) do not attack and may not defend themselves (2 in 6 chance of the latter).

LOOT, TREASURE

XP, CURRENCY & TREASURE

There are a handful (less than five?) Hollow that collect trinkets, arms, armors, herbs, magic items and the like and will sell them. Once you discover them, you'll need to discover what they want in exchange. Ask around to discover their location.

Other cursed but-not-yet-Hollow non-player characters may have a choice item or two which they'd be willing to barter away.

Coin is worthless here.

XP is awarded by # HD of defeated creature and the relative value of an item (weapons and armor of good quality are valuable).

LOOT

The lack of a widely used currency complicates treasure tables. Furthermore, everything has fallen into disrepair and chests and the like are quite uncommon. Those that survive stash their treasure in secret places and watch their stores like spiders in a web.

NPCs and rooms or locations within room will have a Loot Value (LV). (see the Hollow stat block above)

Turning out a room or spot in a room or a corpse to look for loot takes a turn. Roll d10 and add your level. If you exceed the LV all you find is junk (which is still a thing and the GM will roll on that table for you) and on any subsequent searches in the same place you'll only ever find nothing or something useful. On each roll after the first, you also add 1. If your roll results in the LV or less than the LV, you get the corresponding loot from the loot table.

Looting corpses is functionally the same but the GM will add the characters HD to the roll rather than you adding your level.

Calculating Loot Value. 

For a corpse, LV=HD+1+#Specials (by the way, this is just the early Strategic Review, pre-Greyhawk method of calculating XP +100 and then /100).

For a Dungeon, LV =level of Dungeon +3

For treasure rooms in a Dungeon or Lairs, LV = level of Dungeon or Lair (Lairs are level 1 Dungeons if not otherwise determined by GM)+LV of "boss" to whom the treasure belongs.

(EX. See the Hollow Stat block above. Non-Aggressive Hollow have a LV of 2, Crazed Hollow have a LV of 3 and Guarding, Armed Hollow have a LV of 4. If a 2 HD "boss" Guarding, Armed Hollow (therefore, LV 5) were to have a treasure room on level 1 of a dungeon, that room's LV would be 9.)

WHY?

I want to dramatically re-orient the way looting works. The survival horror conventions of scarcity and limited inventory space control here. This thematic consideration, the lack of a merchant class in a largely depopulated area and the devaluation of all currency, makes some kind of alternative to GP necessary.

Also, I generally dislike reducing XP based on relative character and dungeon/creature level as per page 18 of Men & Magic as the higher level character already needs more XP to gain levels than the lower level character.  

Instead, where needing something useful can be a more operative concern, the LV system means to funnel higher level characters towards higher level locations and monsters as it is only there where they will find things useful to them (ie, in lower-level content, the likelihood of getting "junk" is much greater for the higher level character).

Also at play is the idea that looting a dungeon properly in many older D&D games is more a study in figuring out how to get the most cookies out of the cookie jar you can without getting your hand stuck and this mechanic is meant to re-inforce that (as you spend more time looking for loot, you risk wandering encounters and getting both better loot or nothing at all).

and along the far cliffs, a place of power and worship

attributions: Vania Zouravliov x3, _____ (help!), Anthony Scott Waters